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Home > Firefighter Humor
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* You can tell what type of fire it is by the smell of smoke 10 miles away. * You have ever had a heated debate over the color of firetrucks. * You have ever spent 10 min trying to force open a door only to have someone come along and open it by turning the handle. * You have ever taken 10 or more showers in 1 day. * You lay out your clothes from that day so if there is a call at night you can find them quickly. * You take great joy in smashing the windows of a car parked in a fire zone or in front of a hydrant. (see what I mean.) * You have ever been airborne without an aircraft and water was your thrust.
* You always wear red suspenders. * You have ever slept in a hosebed. * You carry a ton of specially modified tools in your pocket. * You ever cursed out someone for armor-alling the seats to make them look nice. * You've ever clung to the air horn chord for dear life because the driver is insane. * You have ever played jingle bells at Xmas time on the air horns to clear traffic. * You double your weight every time you go on a job a building. * You have ever said, "she's hot tonight" and not been talking about a girl.
* You have ever had "yoda ears" * You have ever called a person found after a fire a "crispy critter" * You have ever smoked and there wasn't a cigarette in sight. * You have ever stomped out a fire with your boots because you couldn't wait for water. * You have ever walked 3 miles into the woods in 100 degree heat in full turnout gear and a 5 gal or more water can strapped on your back just to put out a fire. * your kids are afraid to get into water fights with you. * "climbing the corporate ladder" has nothing to do with career advancement. * your work gear makes you sound like Darth Vader. * You roll around in anything that just burned to make your new gear look old. * You take pride in the fact that you haven't washed your gear in years. * You carry enough in your pockets to give the Swiss army knives competition. * You carry enough in your car to extinguish a minor blaze. * You have ever juggled hot coals with your gloves. * Your Own vehicle has more lights than a Christmas tree * All the shirts you own say you are a firefighter * You find yourself living at the fire department 365 days a year! * When you go to rent a movie, and they insist on getting Backdraft EVERYTIME! * You are caught on the back of a truck with your girlfriend or wife in the middle of something and the page goes out for a call. * if you have more pagers than money in your wallet. * if the smell of a fire excites you more than sex does. * if a great stop has nothing do with a moving vehicle. * if assembling a mile and a half of hose to catch fire in running up hill is a good day. * The microwave goes off and you run out of the house thinking it was yourpager. * you ever tried to patent a 911 blocker with the phone company * if you can hear that the siren will go off even before your dog notices it. * If you have ever woken up thinking your pager went off and as you look at it, it goes off * if you have ever tested your gloves by putting a fuzzie out on your hand. * If you have ever been awakened with a CO2 extinguisher * If you have ever dried your gloves on the trucks exhaust. * You know you're a firefighter when you really think that rusty old hydrant looks good in the garden. :) * All your friends give you t-shirts from their departments for your birthday, Christmas, anniversary, etc. * if your wife voluntarily chooses the lumpy side of the bed to avoid being trampled in route to a call! * your wife/girlfriend has learned to duck and cover when she hears the pager go off for fear of being run down. * if you had to extricate someone by cutting the car doors off on one side and realized there was nothing wrong with the doors on the other side. * If you have more toy fire trucks than your kids do. * When you have ever made a Jacuzzi out of a 2100 gallon dump tank and a rescue boat motor (15 horse Merc). ..It was hot!.............Watch yer toes! * When you take all of your important stuff (like wallets and pagers) out of your pockets before going to a training involving a portable tank. * If you have more lights on your personal vehicle than half the firetrucks at the hall do. * The only showers you get are when you get called out in the rain.
Thanks To Author Robert Moyer
Assistant Chief/Training Officer, Perry Center Fire Department
Member, Wyoming County High Angle Rope Rescue Team
Member, Wyoming County Hazardous Materials Team
Emergency Medical Technician, Perry Emergency Ambulance
Published on: October 1, 1999
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